I would like you to go through these questions in your books and make sure your using language techniques in your writing.

https://mathsmadeeasy.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/ks3-english-2008-writing.pdf

You must remember what your Question is and who you are writing for, a magazine wants to tell your story to the world so you must remember to be formal and use correct English.

I would also like you to see if there is a creative way you can lay out this work however, this is not vital for your work.